sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
