1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
