I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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