my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
