Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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