i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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