I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
