Your dad touched me again.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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