omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
nutella sex= disaster
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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