I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
