If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
what day is it and did you see me today?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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