wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
