question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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