it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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