You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
