Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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