Got a toothbrush?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
So apparently I’m into choking now
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