My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
