I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
