Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
