you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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