so that wasnt chicken after all
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
