I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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