true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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