What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
