I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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