it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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