At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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