I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
