My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
