my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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