she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
