This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
