let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
