Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I've blown a few things in my day
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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