So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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