Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I puked a lego.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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