he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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