I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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