Porn is love you can see.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
