dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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