I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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