nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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