She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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