Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
