I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
