Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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