Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Apparently you make a good broom.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
