you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
