Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
