i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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